Hope

In light of recent events, and because of the new year sweeping in before us, I feel compelled to write today.

Like so many, I am troubled by the acts of senseless, random violence that seem to be increasing of late. Folks are screaming for more gun control and more guns and security. The cyberworld is full of conversation surrounding this issue and I am grateful to see that included there in is discussion around why it is happening--the cause of these random and shocking incidences. Why does it seem that more individuals are being compelled to walk into centers full of innocent human activity and open fire? Is it the media's fault? The fault of the current gun regulations, or lack thereof? The fault of the parents? Society? The government?

The reason that we are so compelled to point a finger of blame and identify a concrete source of our troubles is that it helps us feel some semblance of control where we actually have none, and there is nothing more frightening to us than feeling out of control. But blame is not a remedy. We cannot turn back the clock. We cannot bring those innocent victims back. We can only be horrified, cry a bit, and use these incidences as evidence in support of our own moral and political viewpoints. It is also useful, as much as we can all disagree, to argue about how to prevent anything like it from ever happening again.

We are hearing so much about all the horror, violence, greed, prejudice, poverty, etc., etc., etc., in the world. It seems we can't get away from it. There is a simple, scientific/psycho-social reason for this. Our brains are powerfully programmed--due to natural selection--to pay extremely close attention to any kind of threatening information. The media knows this, and the media needs ratings--it needs to draw, and keep, the attention of viewers/listeners/readers. If we are presented with any kind of information that our brains perceive as a threat (natural disasters, gun violence, war, abductions, etc.) then our brains perk up and pay attention, along with our eyes and ears. Ratings go up, advertising gets viewed at higher rates, and media sources are able to charge more for their advertising and make more money. Yea!

The problem with this is that many of us end up with the perception that the world is becoming worse and more threatening. As we become increasingly desensitised to dramatic and violent imagery, media presentations of such imagery become progressively more extreme in order to capture and keep our attention. A powerful snowball effect.

When we take a true look at statistics and long-term trends, we can enjoy a great hope and optimism. (But remember, hope and optimism doesn't sell quite as well.) World-wide, human beings are moving toward tolerance, democracy, solutions, and peace. True, it is a two-steps-forward-one-step-back process, but we are decidedly moving forward. And as we choose to see the positive in the world--what we want to move toward--instead of the negative--what we want to move away from--it will make the process smoother, more effective and, frankly, more exciting and enjoyable. (Just think of the way that you inevitably will crash into the very tree you are attempting to avoid while riding a bike. In order to avoid the tree, you have to focus your attention on the trail--where you want to go, not where you don't want to go.)

Now, in order to use these incidences as evidence in support of my own moral and political viewpoints, a word about connection.

I firmly believe that the solution to ending violence in our world is for us to find a way to help human beings establish a true sense of connection with each other. It is much harder, if not impossible for most, to mistreat an individual or a group with whom we feel a true connection that is based in empathy. If we want to move our world forward in peace, we must become deeply connected with ourselves, with the individuals around us, and with the world as a whole. The potential is there. The Internet is a miracle, but we must use it consciously and in the right way.

I have great hope. I see good, kind, thoughtful people all around me doing good things and treating others with great kindness. At times, I am overwhelmed by what people are willing to do for each other, how they are willing to grow and change, and by the great amount of love that exists in our world. Why not focus our attention on that?

I am certainly not saying that we should close our eyes and hearts to our problems. I am saying that we need not get mired down in despair and negativity. Instead of blame, solutions. Instead of hate, love. Instead of hopelessness, courage. Instead of isolation, connection.

Happy New Year!

Namaste.

Connection with Self

At the root of human connectivity is the ability one has to connect with the self. We hear many catch phrases in counseling, self-help, and life coaching literature such as "finding yourself," "living authentically," and "finding your passion" that all refer to the phenomenon of connection with and acquaintance with the self. The idea is so ubiquitous because it is a vital root to sustained personal growth and satisfaction. If we can make self-inquiry a way of life, then we will be better able to establish and sustain deeper satisfaction and fulfillment in our lives.
Here are three simple activities that can help you support the process of connection with self in your own life:

1. Journaling: Keeping a journal or diary is a great way to engage in self-examination. It is important to remember that you are journaling for yourself. Write whatever comes to you. Go back and read your journal periodically. Look for patterns.
2. Meditation: We can engage in true self-inquiry only when the mind is quiet. My friend Julian Treasure (click here to see his talk at TED) talks about the constant visual and auditory "noise" that bombards us daily and makes it very hard to listen. We need to get quiet so we can "listen" to ourselves.
3. Self-Questioning: When it comes to self-inquiry and connection with self, "Why?" is an excellent question. If we can develop a playful curiosity about ourselves, why we behave the way we do, why we like what we like, etc., then we will be able to develop clarity in regard to our passion and purpose.

What practices do you engage in that help you to experience a connection with your self?

Connection is Everything

I believe that human connectivity is the answer to everything. If we, as human beings, can become powerfully connected to ourselves and to each other then there is no problem we cannot solve, no trial that cannot be overcome, and no disaster from which we cannot recover. Connection is everything.

Human connectivity happens on three main levels:

1. With one's self (intrapersonal)
2. With others (interpersonal)
3. With the broad human culture and environment

As human beings, we are currently undergoing a significant shift in the ways we communicate with each other. Technology has blown the channels wide open and is now enabling us to connect in ways, and on a scale, totally unimaginable just a few short decades ago. As we move through this transition we must remember that communicating does not necessarily equate with connecting, and connection is vital to our sense of well-being, our happiness, and our satisfaction in our lives. When we feel lost, it is necessary that we reestablish our "connection" at the point(s) it has been broken (or has never been established in the first place).

Connection is everything.

This blog is dedicated to the concept and promise of human connectivity.

Join the conversation!